so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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