Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
