Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize