I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
