It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We had sex on a dog bed..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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