whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
