so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
