I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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