careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
