Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
