no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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