How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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