Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
