She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
