Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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