I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend