I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.