My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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