i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
