i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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