Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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