don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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