I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
