I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
