I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
