pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I touched a dick in church today
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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