so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
