nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
