I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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