So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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