READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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