I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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