"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
