Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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