i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
