Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
