Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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