Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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