3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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