i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!