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• (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.

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• (949): View more from California

  July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.

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• (707): View more from California

  We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.

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