you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
