and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!