Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that