did you get engaged???
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
