just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.