she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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