I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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