Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
