I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
