i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You pole danced in your parka.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
