therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
