i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
