What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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