Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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