Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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