It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
