They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
