we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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