Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
