why didn't you poke me back
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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