absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
