I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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